January 2012
- Friend: Why don't you have a boyfriend?
- Me: Because I'm a hot pot of rice who don't need no side dish.
I suppose it is about time I really put down everything, this will be the final post about the hurt and negative feelings I have for you/her/your. And if by any chance if you ever read about it, I just want to say “Thank you, for your rejection makes me stronger”.
I never knew I will be able to write a post about my emotions at a peaceful state. I mentioned that I have moved on entries ago, but I never really got pass it. Each time I see you, it reminds me of the good times when we hang out with the group but right now it seems like a dream. From wanting to steal looks at you to wanting to avoid you to being able to act like nothing has happened, it is never easy. It is even harder to see you both together knowing your feelings towards her and then losing the friends that I want to keep.
After the talk we had, I was so emotionally bruised and angry at you - hated that you apologised and said nothing else, hated that you defended her while trying to make peace with me. At that point, I just can’t wait to graduate. Now that I’ve graduate, all these doesn’t matter anymore. Looking back now, I was really acting irrationally and childish.
But I have finally find my that tiny bit of confidence back and ready to embrace my present and future. I do not want to leave in the shadows where hearing your name makes me uncomfortable or the sight of your irks me, because to be honest, it is not worth it at all. It is a pleasure knowing you, but my advice to you, “Be no fool, be no slave, be no spare”.
I’m really surprised that I finally, like a definite finally, closing this door. I believe there’s many new doors waiting for me. I’m really glad that now, I’m on my way to becoming a happier person. Thank you.